Save me Xboxer, you’re my only hope.

Words by: | Posted: 11 months ago | Filed under: News.

Save me Xboxer, you’re my only hope.

May the 4th be with you. OK, a lame joke but one that had to be made. To celebrate Star Wars Day on the 4th May, we’re talking about force powers. Sadly some of the best have already been taken, but there are still plenty of superhuman advantages waiting to be grabbed in the name of the Light Side.

With everyone else flinging pillars around, manifesting electricity from their hands and telling Stormtroopers that they’ve got the wrong droids, what’s left if I was a Jedi? What essence could I conjure up to stop those hitting on Princess Leia in their tracks?

Then it hit me like a proverbial Force push. The one thing missing is a counter-power; an electromagnetic pulse or more commonly known, an EMP.  We’re not talking a device like other popular films, but instead a Force ability that’d allow you to stop everyone else in their tracks.

Imagine the devastation you could cause in a world that relies on electric energy. Lightsabers. Pfft. They’re no good if you can’t turn them on. Blasters? Set to run more than stun. And those posh Star Destroyers? Ships would fall out of the sky at my hands.

Who needs the Force’s enlightenment when you can fry C-3PO’s circuits? That’d shut him up when he’s blabbering nonsense. OK, so it might be skirting the dark side. To counter that thought, having a Force EMP would negate the need for X-Wings bumbling down the Death Star’s trenches. Just point, think and poof – there goes the Empire.

The EMP would be a Force to be reckoned with (I’m sorry…) regardless of its context. Having the ability to shut down the massive clone factory in Episode 2 would prevent the start of the Clone Wars. Don’t forget that wrinkly, wily old Palpatine – Mace Windu would be safe from electrocution. You could even stop Darth Vader dead in his tracks. After all, most of his bodily functions are controlled by machinery.

No more operatic music, waiting for electronic barriers to dissipate, at the end of Episode 1. A quick wave of the hand and hey presto, Darth Maul goes running to the hills.

About Dave Burns

Dave created Xboxer360.com back in 2008 and now runs it alongside Rich. Dave also works for several companies within the gaming industry and he was once told to leave a Mumford & Sons gig by Mumford & Sons.